It is not unusual at all for aging family members to refuse help from others. That’s frustrating for you, especially if it’s painfully obvious that she does need help. Here are some ideas for moving forward.
Take a Closer Look at What’s Happening
You may know for sure that your senior needs more help, but it doesn’t hurt to take a closer look before you insist on anything. Talk to your aging family member about her health, about what’s tough for her to do now, and about where she thinks she would finally want help. Ask her about her goals in the months and years to come. Does she see herself aging in place, or does she have another plan? This is information you need, regardless of what else happens.
Give Your Senior Some Options
Choice is a huge issue for aging adults. There are so many ways that aging and other situations take choice away from your senior. That’s often a reason that older adults have for not accepting help, incidentally. So, collect some options. Maybe you offer to help her with meals once a week, freezing them for easy access later. Or perhaps one of the choices is that elderly care providers come in a few times a week. Make the choices reasonable ones that solve some of the issues you uncovered when you talked with her.
Talk about the Positive Benefits of Those Options
Avoid running down these options, even if there are ones you don’t like. Focus on the positive benefits of all of these choices. You want her to be more open to accepting help, so you’ve chosen the options you offered her carefully and any of them will give her more assistance than she has now. So, make sure that you’re offering all of those selling points.
Accept What She’s Telling You
Ideally, your senior sees things from your perspective finally and changes her mind. But you also have to accept the possibility that she might not. That may mean that at some point, you are going to have to accept what she’s telling you at face value. If she continues to resist for now, you may have to go along and help in the ways that you’re able to help.
None of this is easy. It’s difficult for your senior and it’s difficult for you as her family caregiver. That’s why you have to be open and loving and just do what you can do.
If you or an aging loved-one are considering hiring Elderly Care in Toluca Lake, CA, please contact the caring staff at Home Care Help. Serving All of Los Angeles County. Call Us Today (888) 989-7388
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